Before I Do (Part 1)

Now I'm not going to pretend that I am a great example of how to be a perfect bride-to-be, nor am I claiming that my relationship with Marc is immaculate. I am far from pristine, and our relationship is a perpetual work in progress. For me, that's the exciting part: we get to experience God continuously working in our lives and our marriage.

What little I know about being ready for marriage, I'm about to share in this part 1 post, as I am currently in that state of my life. After that, I'll do a part 2 on what the Bible says about it. Then next week or sometime around that, I'll be doing a part 3 wherein I'll be adding on and/or correcting what I wrote on parts 1 & 2. This is after Marc and I attend CCF's "Before and After I Do" workshop seminar on May 10.

For soon-to-be weds and newlyweds, I'd like to invite you to attend this. It's at CCF main in Tiendesitas, on May 10, 2014, 8:30AM - 5:00PM. Registration on the day is at 1000Php per couple. For more information, you may check CCF's website: www.ccf.org.ph

Marc and I are about to tie the knot on January. Before deciding to marry, we had a few of "the talk". Basically, there are the negotiables and the non-negotiables. I'm focusing on the non-negotiables because, well, they're the important ones. Here are ours:

1. We had to both be Christians. When we became girlfriend and boyfriend, he wasn't a Christian yet. Although I stressed the importance of my faith even before, it was a disobedience on my part at the time, and I wouldn't advice the same to anyone. It was sheer grace from God that he became a Christian, December of 2013. An important note: A Christian not only by words, but by walk.
2. Before getting married, we have to prepare ourselves: Physically - we wouldn't be able to take care of each other if we're sickly or weak, would we? Emotionally - we had to make sure we didn't have any emotional baggage from past relationships. Spiritually - in such a way that we have strong morals; our hearts being in tune with Christ's. More on that on part 2. I'd like to add also, just to clearly state the obvious: Absolutely no sex before marriage. Financially - not necessarily millionaires, but enough so we don't start our married life in debt, and we have enough not to be dependent on other people, i.e. parents for our survival. Maturity - are we ready to leave our single life and prioritize the welfare of each other over our own?
3. We have concrete plans. Not the typical we fall in love, get married, live happily ever after. More like, how much do we budget for the wedding, how much do we need as start up for our future, how much emergency fund we need to maintain, where do we live after getting married, how do we support ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually in our marriage, etc.
4. I almost forgot this very important part. When I prayed about getting married, the passage God gave me was about honoring my parents. With this in mind, we had to make sure both sets of parents were on board with this. Marc talked to his parents, and when they confirmed that they approved of me, he asked for my parents' blessings before proposing to me. (I know, I have a wonderful husband-to-be. All thanks and glory be to God.) Imagine not having to deal with monster in-laws! Bliss!

The point is that, getting married is not only about the wedding, but the marriage. It's not a one day thing that you plan for. It's an everyday decision to keep loving your spouse and your kids; an everyday effort to learn, love, and grow together. It's being sensitive to your future family's needs more than ever, every single day... and on that note, I'd like to end with Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages. 

I've had the pleasure of reading the short version and it gave me so much helpful insights and I've been trying my best to apply what I've learned ever since. I'm planning to buy the paperback copy soon.

The Rings

We ordered our rings from J's Diamonds. Same with everything else, we had the same criteria: simple, elegant, and timeless. When we found all three in their booth at the wedding expo, it was a done deal. We've been to hundreds... ok, maybe around fifty jewelry stores. There were simple rings, elegant rings, timeless rings, simple and elegant rings, elegant and timeless rings, simple and timeless rings, but not one of them were all three. It made us smile a little bit wider to find all three requirements in a pair of wedding bands that time. It would take a few months to have them made the right size and have the engravings done since they have to be ordered from Hong Kong, but it'll be worth the wait. Besides, we have time. 

The tips: One kuya from a store gave us his two cents, which we found to be really helpful, so I'm sharing them here, together with a thing or two we learned on the way. 

First, whatever design you want for your rings, it will always be best to see the real thing on your finger. 
No matter how pretty the design is, especially in photos, it will never look exactly the same when custom made. 
Next, aside from the stone qualities/specs, there are various other ring characteristics you have to pay attention to. For example, the width of the rings. Generally, thin delicate ones look good on women; how wide the men's are would depend on the size of their fingers. Then there's the thickness of the rings. Also, there's the insides and the edges. Will they be flat, curved, or pocked.
Check as well the other rings that you don't pick for the general quality of their merchandise.
Try not to scrimp on your rings too much coz you'll be wearing them forever, after all.
For the ladies' ring sizes, allow a few millimeters more in preparation for pregnancy bloating.
I don't know why, but the standard sizes didn't seem to apply to us. Our sizes differed from one store to another, so it would probably be best to have your size sorted on the store where you will be buying your rings from.

Aside from J's Diamonds, Radiance also has good ones. We had my engagement ring modified there. I'll look for the links of both and update this post.

Engagement Ring: Orogem & Radiance

Wedding Rings: J's Diamonds
Reserved/Ordered: March 8, 2014

A Love Story

People call it mental block, I call it "duuuuuhhhh..." (insert drool) I'm not exactly the diligent blogger and most of the time, I can't even think of what to say, or how to express myself. It's just that writing has always been my outlet as well as a way for me to keep memories. Sometimes it's just hard to know how to begin, how to narrate everything, and how to end.

Well, it's that time again, and I'm afraid I'm kinda stuck. Part of me wants this post to actually make sense, and hopefully help people as references. Another part wants to just write and write and write regardless of the sense it'll make. The latter's winning.

Here goes. I'm going to rewind, back up and start with the planning. So yeah, before everything, it was clear to both Marc and I that this... our relationship and everything related to it has this ultimate goal of ending up together and marrying each other. I told him right from the start that I do not get into relationships for a trial and error run. My end objective will always be marriage, so if he's looking for someone to "test" things out with, I'm not the person for that. He told me that we have the same view and he's done with the part of his life that doesn't (have the same view). It's time for him to settle down and be with someone he loves more than anything and anyone in this world, and that, according to him, is me. So I told him about my God and my relationship with Him. I let him know that, his highest spot with me will always only be second to God, and he's alright with that. He knows how important my faith is, and what I have with my Savior cannot and should not be de-prioritized; he understands that. I then started to pray for him, for his salvation and for God to prepare us both. So there, sometime last year, we became us. After about a year or more of constantly praying for him, he got saved December of 2013. This year, he proposed, and thus, we are starting yet another journey together.

Lookie that bling. ^_^

The proposal: I've seen a lot of proposal videos and read a ton of stories. Most of them depict a nervous guy, asking his girlfriend to be his wife in front of a public. Most of these guys tell people that the proposals were pretty nerve-wracking coz the girl might say no. I've never been a fan of that. Maybe I'm just a private person... sure, I blog, but not about the personal details, i.e. step by step on how he proposed, how our dates go, etc. Maybe I'm KJ. Or maybe not. For me, proposing in front of a public is really impersonal and kinda manipulative. It's like hey, look at all the people around, say yes, and don't be the bad person breaking this poor guy's heart. Also, what's up with the girl might say no thing? Maybe it's just me, but I'd want to know beforehand that we're both ready and committed before I propose marriage to another person. I mean, if I'm not sure if this person will marry me, then we're not ready to start this part of our lives. Sure, if I was the guy, I'd still get pretty nervous, but it'll be because I'd want her to like the proposal... for it to be heartfelt and really special, not because she might just turn me down. Thankfully, I'm happily blessed with a loving man who wants the same intimate and private proposal and gave me just that. Since I do believe everything from the proposal to the marriage is for both parties, and not just for the bride, as an added bonus, I got to propose to him too. And yeah, he said yes! 

My ring & his watch. Image reposted.

The preparations: Technically on-going, but so far, we have the venue, the catering, the photo & video, the hair and makeup artist, and the on-the-day coordinator booked. The guest list has been finalized (let's say, second to the last finalization), the rings ordered, and the gown penciled in. Praise God for the discounts, the great deals, the wonderful people, and the ever so patient fiance! I'd have to double check the list, but I do think we're on schedule. Fingers crossed so I don't have to turn into what the people in the business call Bridezilla.

Lovin' it! Thank You, Lord.

The Perfect Venue for a Perfect Evening

We only had two options shortlisted for our venue. Our preference has always been simple, elegant, and timeless, and we agreed to have this incorporated into everything for our wedding. The color motif, of course, will be green and white. It was then a matter of picturing both venues with the intended spring look.

Marc was actually the one who picked Light of Love, and by the time we went there for the ocular visit, I was more than convinced. The Atrium venue we wanted had an amazing glass ceiling that would show a wonderful sunset hue to a hopefully starry night sky on the night of our wedding. We still went to the other venue just to make sure we had covered all bases. It paled in comparison. So, Light of Love it is.

Aside from the glass ceiling we had fallen in love with, Atrium has the charm and elegance we wanted for a sweet romantic night with family and friends.

photo from lightoflove.com.ph

The reservation and/or booking wasn't that hard either. Ms. Steph, our contact, had a bubbly happy attitude that made us feel like we were talking to a close friend. Being the OC and sigurista person that I am, I kept e-mailing her for everything. From the packages, to the rate adjustments, to the payment terms. I was even texting her for some catering questions. She was really patient, accommodating, and was well-equipped with details, contacts, etc. for their affiliates. She made this task a breeze for us.

One down. Tons more to go.

Venue: Light of Love - Atrium
Reserved/Booked: March 8, 2014

 

First Time

It's my running joke that isn't so funny anymore. Whenever I get confused or make minor mistakes on the wedding preps, that's my excuse. It's also my initial line before I ask my family for advice, hehe. Anyhoo, doing this big event for the first and last time in my life, I get overwhelmed a lot. There's just so much all at once, and I am constantly reminded that it's going to be a one time hopefully not so big time thing, thus I simply cannot flop.

So as I go through everything, I plan on documenting both the excitement and the frustrations on the way, with permission from Marc, of course. Hopefully I don't get much panic moments, despite my OC-ness.

Technically, the preparations have started before the proposal. We talked about it and decided to go to our first bridal fair, January 18, 2014. The amount of brochures, fliers, and calling cards we got was quite a shock to us both, the pictures don't even do it justice:

It was a good start. In an attempt to get organized, we sorted them out and kept them in a clear book. Shortlisted some after a ton of inquiries and email exchanges and got our top 3s for the major ones.

317 days left.