Trust Issues

pressure from life. sigh, i feel so rushed. i don't really understand why. sure, i do want to settle down and live a quiet life with a family of my own, but hey, not right now! i mean, my target has always been 27 or 28. so, again, why do i feel pressured?

all in God's time. i gotta have patience, faith... i gotta learn to let go and let Him take over. kaso control freak nga ako e. i need to learn to trust Him with all my heart and soul.

i thank Him for giving me *jacob*. he's wonderful in so many ways, and he makes me happy. we both got quirks, as everyone has, but somehow, i live with his and he lives with mine. i don't really believe in love at first sight, but somehow i always believed in that certain magic. i guess this is why i loved and still love fairy tales.

my definition of love: as much as i can't and don't want to define it, really... here's my idea of it.
love is a verb, not a noun... a constant and conscious effort and decision of wanting and doing what's best for someone without selfish motives. while on romantic levels, it may be attached to certain feelings of floating, happiness, and what not, it is not and will never be confined to just that. the giddiness, excitement, and cloud 9 experience may lessen or vanish, but if and when a person decides to love someone, everything would be worth it, just to spend the rest of life with him/her. love is not dependency. "i can live without you, but i don't want to."

sigh. ^_^