Climbing Out of the Hole

hit rock bottom recently. still having a hard time climbing out of the deep hole i fell in. bouts of depression here and there. sometimes, even paranoia. yeah, so might as well call me crazy. been there, done that. actually wondered if i was... am. geez.
so anyway, i'm just thankful my bf's always there for me. he's not really patient with most things and/or situations, but with this, he tries his darnest to understand and calm me. and i'm very very grateful.
lessons learned: i have to learn to count my blessings more often. the Lord giveth and He can take away anything, anyone, anytime. i have to hand over the reins and have faith that everything will be ok.
in today's world, and the life i live at the moment, there's very little of God in it. i'm ashamed to admit it, but i had to. now, i'm in the process of reconnecting with Him. i have to try harder though. sometimes, especially when things seem to be back to normal, i slowly slip back to the old routine. then before i know it, i'm back in square one feeling those bouts of sad emptiness again.

malachi 2:2 if you do not listen, and if you do not set your heart to honor My name, says the Lord Almighty, I will send a curse upon you and I will curse your blessings. yes, I have already cursed them, because you have not set your heart to honor Me.

scary... hehe. sigh, i'm still in the process of finding my way back to Him, and i really need all the help i can get. i need to remember that He's always there for me. so is tan, and my family.