Post Break Up Busyness

Yup, that's right, we broke up. I actually mentioned it, but that's about it. No details on what went on between us. I never did share anything about that kind of stuff, and I'm not about to start now. It's called respect... to him and to what we had.

The aftermath of it all is that I'm currently trying to keep myself sane, normal, and really really busy so I do not have to think about it. As opposed to popular demand of bawling anywhere and everywhere, I have opted to go to work with almost no evidence of ever having go through any personal problems. When I feel the need to breakdown and cry, I do take the day or the half day off and hide in the comforts of home. Sure, I do have the unpredictable moments of remembering once upon a times, and the tears overflow, but then I get a hold of myself and tissue everything off. Unfortunately, society apparently dictates that I have to show them how miserable I am else they go judging me with god-knows-what. So to you pathetic losers who have nothing else worthwhile to do other than that: GO TO HELL.

Yes, I'm pissed, and as much as I would want to be the Piolo Pascual of this scenario, I do not have the patience nor the strength left in me to endure these unworthy brats' criticisms.

Moving on, I've turned my autopilot mode on, and have been living on routine the past few weeks. I wake up early and go right back to sleep for the lack of motivation to go through another day. When I finally find it possible to drag myself out of bed, I arrive late for work coz I simply don't care anymore; this will probably entail another memo for my excessive tardiness for November. Then I work through the day, a task at a time as though it's the only thing I know how to do. I don't try to feel or think. I laugh when something's funny, I rant when projects get delayed, I work. If this mechanical existence means that (1) I temporarily forget the loneliness and the pain, and (2) the insensitive so-called-friends will think I have gotten over things, then so be it. I'm tired of having to understand them and their opinions, when in fact they should have been doing this for me and Tan. For those people who actually think we owe them any explanations on what happened, you can go curl up and die.

So that's about it. I'm basically trying to keep myself incessantly productive; I'm just not sure yet if I'm succeeding or not.

I'm Back

Back from a long very long break, I have started running again. It's a hobby I have missed so much.

Here's why I love running:
1. It functions as my outlet. It calms me and helps me blank out. It's the only time I can stop thinking.
2. I don't have to remember a lot of things... "just keep going until you reach the finish line" and "push for a better time". That's it.
3. I don't need tons of gears and/or equipment.

So far, I have been running at least twice a week round the Scout Area and within the confines of Meralco Compound. Roughly 5k.

Due to the lack of better timing equipment, I will be estimating time by the old school watch.
Will update soon.

Christmas Comes but Once a Year

I don't know what it is, but there's something about doing wishlists...

Here's mine for 2012:
1. I currently have an awesome Fossil watch already, but since I've recently revived my running, I would like a sporty one with a timer. G-Shock GR-8900-7DR or G-8900A-7D:

They'd probably be too big for my flimsy wrist, but hey, me want!

 

2. Now that I have more time for myself, I have been reading tons of books lately. I want the old Kindle. I don't really know if this is still available, or which version this one actually is, but here's a pic:

 

3. I want to go hiking. I've been wanting to since last year. Maybe it's time. 

 4. I want a vacation, peferably by a beach. A quiet place to relax and stop worrying about everything.

 

5. Additional 3 more checks on the list. (items 3 & 4 also here)

 



Before Everything Turns to Mush

A significant amount of brain cells just died about fifteen minutes ago, and I have officially stopped working. Thus, now blogging about a clutter of thoughts floating like amoeba in my gooey grey matter.

After almost six years, I am quite sure that I love my job – handling provisioning databases and platforms as well as signalling transfer points and international gateway facilities. What shatters my otherwise happy contentment is the wrinkle-inducing 9.6 hours a day work schedule, the way below liveable salary and the nearly non-existent benefits.

It baffles me how a guy can stomach considering (how much more actually making plans of) having his wife pay for his tuition to study graphics design, at the same time have her provide for their family as well. Pathetic excuse for a man. I honestly don’t know why I even tried to help.

Thirtieth birthdays and engagements. A single lady friend is turning thirty this month. Colleagues who to me are chikitings, are getting engaged. I am pressured, and yet I am not ready. Crap… I just had a momentary light bulb moment. This is probably why God hasn’t granted my prayers of settling down. He knew that at some point in my life I’d be having these mid… um, quarter… ahh, third life crisis (does that even make sense?).

Me likey Lenovo android setup. Borne of a boring Sunday afternoon, I downloaded a simple white theme for my android service unit. I know I don’t use it anyway, but hey, me still likey.

I really really really like puppies.

I really really really need to get back to work.

I want to go out and try stuff, experience things. I want to run, jog, bike, swim, and roll on grass… ok, maybe not that last one. I want to snorkel, parasail, and feel the wind in my hair. I want to roller skate, ice skate, surf, and wakeboard. I want to go on a food trip, on a picnic, on a weekend getaway, on a hike. I want to watch movies, fireflies, plays, fireworks. I want to ride planes, hot-air balloons, yachts, sailboats. And right now, I can’t.

I found out yesterday that they feed dog food to fighting cocks. Also, they give them yoghurt, because they can’t have milk. Apparently, they’re lactose intolerant.

There’s an itch on my big toe that’s been bothering me for three days now.

Crap. Waiting for end of business day.

Lazy Scary Weather

i just want to curl up with a good book and a hot bowl of sopas today, but i'm already at work... and it's ok. ^_^ thank God the rain has stopped.

considering what just happened was not caused by a typhoon and there isn't a storm signal, it's pretty scary. flood everywhere, stranded people, and land slides. even work had to be suspended yesterday --it takes a lot, and i mean A LOT to have work suspended by our company HR. (yes, they're basically heartless, don't get me started)

something like this just leaves us helpless; encouraging full dependence on God alone.

with that, i'm including a pic that has made me smile today:

Simple Joy #7 Long Overdue Student Permit

after n years of commuting and enduring the pains of mrt hazards, i finally decided to get my student permit. it was either this or a permit to carry (smirk) as i really need to defend myself from the other passengers nowadays. i opted for the lesser evil. simple joy #7.

here's a layman's run through as based on my experience in their san juan branch.
first, obtain an application form from the man at the first desk you see when you enter the establishment. you will have to provide him a copy of your birth certificate, which he will attach to the form before handing to you.
fill out the form, making sure you write legibly. for someone like me who's already employed, your tin will be required; a photocopy of your tin id will help. in my case, i had a photocopy of the e-confirmation.
after filling out the form, the tin id photocopy and a makeshift oath that you will be required to read out loud (just for them to make sure you can actually read) will also be attached to the application you just filled up.
you will then be directed to the evaluator window. once you have submitted your form, sit back and wait to be called. the lady will be calling you to the window for some follow up and/or further questions and clarifications on the documents.
another call will lead you to the picture taking and electronic signature thing. simply look at the webcam through the window and smile (or not, if you'd prefer a badass pic on your license to hopefully scare off the buwayas).
after a few minutes, it'll be the cashier window for the necessary dues. for mine, it was 317.63php. i would advise bringing smaller bills for the obvious reasons. in less than five minutes your student permit will be released. voila! complete with the hideous picture (no matter how prettily you grinned) and weirdly scrunched signature. yay! the whole process took me less than an hour.

in other news, i have new shoes. ^_^ pictures later.

For the Sake of Posting

i've been wanting to post some updates, but as usual, fighting my lazy bones have been oh so hard.

anyway, since my last post, i have been hospitalized.. first time ever in my life, i think.

stayed there for two days, diagnosed with gastritis and severe dysmenorrhea. crappy girl thing. still currently doing follow up checkups. tsk.

then i got sent to marinduque for work... i don't have any pictures as we were not able to go anywhere apart from the hotel. by the way, marinduque apparently doesn't have jollibee or mcdonalds. still better than the office. haha.

new shoes from so! f.a.b.

after that, dampa dinner at home depot with officemates and ex-officemates. good food, great friends, we should do it again soon.

last friday, we became the unexpected champions of the office bowling event. yey.

last but not least, watched batman with rovi and jean yesterday.

overall, a pretty balanced month of july.

Healthy Living Day 2

everyone will attest to the fact that i function so much better with caffeine in my system. i have been thinking of adding it to my e-mail signature already.

so when a coffee dependent officemate offered to bring in his coffee maker, we immediately bought ground coffee beans, and brewed a few cups. health benefits include cancer prevention, depression lowering effects, and increased metabolism. of course too much of anything is always bad, so i'll try to limit my intake to three cups a week.

for lunch, as promised yesterday, i went back to cafeteria verde and tried the mozzarella panini. i was so excited, i took a bite out of the bean & cheese taquitos before i remembered to take a snapshot.

the mozzarella panini tasted so much better than the veggie burger i had yesterday, and i swear the bean & cheese taquitos taste yummier with each succeeding bite.

wonder what i'll have for monday's lunch? still can't believe i'm eating healthy. can't wait!

There's Always a First Time for Everything

i've always liked trying out new things. especially food.

so guess what i had for lunch?

tada...

i actually had a healthy lunch consisting of a veggie burger and bean & cheese taquitos. my drink was a watermelon mango slush with tapioca. here's the verdict:

• veggie burger: according to internet research, it's actually made of mushroom and tofu. the pattie crumbles on first bite. not really delicious, but it didn't taste bad, either. (of course, my standards are super duper ultra uber high since i've tasted charlie's grind and grill black angus burger) considering this was the first time i've ever tried an actual no meat burger, i'd say it'll take some getting used to before i accept what i just had as a "burger".
• bean & cheese taquitos: even though the texture would probably take some getting used to like with the veggie burger, this one actually tasted good. especially with the aioli dip. but then again, i'm a sucker for anything that has cheese in it.
• watermelon mango slush: it has mango in it. of course it's good.
• price: at 99php, i'm satisfied. the whole thing was surprisingly filling.

tomorrow, i'll probably be back to try the mozzarella panini and/or the pasta.

Simple Joys #5 and #6 with Shrimps

i simply feel the need to get pampered today.

after a week of downtime due to the not-so-sure-but-looks-like-it mumps, i thought i was ready to get back to work and slave my ass off again. apparently not. a week of work sent me right back down haggard lane. i sat at my cozy office nook this morning and thought that it has been a while since i had my last pedicure. come lunch break, off i went to have my usual at california nails and day spa. turns out, i've been missing my used-to-be-monthly pedi for more than "a while". california nails and day spa has been boarded up closed. i ended up trying luxe nail lounge still at robinson's galleria. simple joy #5: pedicure.

due to the unexpected turn of events, i was not able to take pictures of the said lounge. as always, the first thing i noticed was the smell. the place smelled nice --a soft scent like fabric conditioner or light baby lotion. the ambiance was relaxing. not homey. not clinical. during the whole process, i kept thinking why haven't i tried their services before. the comparison with california nails inevitably went on and on in my head. while i had little to no complaints with the service i used to get, this was hands down better than what i was used to. i still got the perfect cleaning, but this time without the wince worthy digging on the sides of the nails. the polish was evenly applied and they had the quick dry thingy as well. at 220php plus tips, i am very satisfied.

moving on, my hair has been frizzy due to the stress, so i purchased what i hereby present as simple joy #6: dove's nourishing oil care serum. it actually smells like a lightly scented dove soap so i had no qualms about applying it to my hair. what i especially like about the product is that 1. it doesn't weigh my hair down llike other oil based leave ons and 2. a pump or two is enough even for my long hair.

we'll see if i get to use it all up in the days to come.

next topic: i've been craving shrimp for over three weeks now. here's what i got for lunch last friday...

despite being categorized as "rabbit food" in my mind, this was surprisingly filling and really yummy. now, if only i could get my hands on more shrimps...

Out of Boredom

i've been stuck at home for the past four days now, and life is getting to be more boring than it already is. i've been diagnosed with... well, i really do not know what i've been diagnosed with. monday morning, i woke up looking like the 9gag kid.

figured i couldn't have gained 10lbs overnight, so i started panicking. that's just me, other people would've considered the obvious alternatives, like say, mumps... anyway, my dad took me to the nearest hospital to go see the ENT doctor. since i had the mumps vaccine when i was a kid, the doctor declared it to be an escalation of my chicken allergies. (hands up: hey, i swear spicy chicken at ersao was that good! i had two orders sunday night) that, and too much spicy things. also, she mentioned that i shouldn't have too much sour food either. this time, i did not mention my recent addiction with tropicana's apple lemon juice. i've been downing a bottle a day. the one liter kind, mind you. she then gave me antibiotics, and antihistamine, and sent me on my way.
tuesday morning, my face felt a little heavy so i went and looked into the nearest mirror. big mistake. lo and behold, i looked like a puffer fish minus the thorn-like thingies. it's as though i gained another 10lbs! 

so i did the first thing i was good at. i panicked again. (grin) went back to the hospital to have it checked again. this time, the doctor told me that it's probably mumps, but she'll have my blood drawn and tested just to be sure. so they got my blood, and gave me additional meds for the pain. they told me they'd call me back within the day for my cbc results.

that afternoon, her secretary called to provide me with yet other medication. a stronger dose, i think. this time it had steroids. i felt like a junkie. still, the response i got was that it looked like mumps. was beginning to think "is there ever any assurance in this world?" dramatic, i know.

wednesday, they called to ask how i was. the pain had gone, but the puffer fish face was still there. ever so puffy. that afternoon though it kinda went down a little.

it's thursday, and i'm trying to be more patient about this and going through a hard time accepting the fact that i would probably be unable to go to the office outing this weekend. sadness. also, i'm having a hard time finding things to do. i cannot drop by the grocery, i can't visit the bookstore, i can't lift heavy stuff (apparently, it worsens things), i can't eat my favorite junk... tv's not really my thing, although i've been downloading like crazy.

i'm currently hoping i'd still have my sanity by the time this ends. oh, and hope nobody catches this, that is, if what i have is really mumps.

Asparagus to Studded Heels

was reading one of my old cookbooks and came across benefits of opting for organic food. tried researching nearby organic food stores, failed miserably, ended up browser shopping for heels. epic fail. how i ended up looking at studded heels from researching food products boggles even my mind. go figure.

so why was i leafing through my old cookbooks? once upon a time, i had the balls (pardon the term) to wear sleeveless tops to work everyday. today, a pair of flabby arms shamed me and i immediately regretted wearing my old black sleeveless top.

where do i start? the skinny bitch recommends having meatless mondays, or some other day for a start. this i am willing to try. which day though? thursdays? other than that, organics are always always better than the regular thing. unfortunately, because of our fast food dependent generation, almost if not all organic stores are extinct.

the plan is to get off my lazy bum ass and plan 2-week healthy meals, and stick to it without cheating. not exactly depriving me of anything, just making better choices. at the moment, i'm still a complete stranger to what i'm about to do. baby steps. real cute, tiny, baby steps. that ought to get me started.

if i don't post anything about losing a couple of inches and/or pounds for the next month of so, alam na! lazy bones > vanity. ^_^

Katy Perry

i used to like katy perry.
then today i found out she compromised her faith.

Getting Over Summer

500 days of summer. i love katy perry. i hated the movie. this isn't about that.

it's been raining at least once a week now. a sure sign summer's ending, and i haven't been to the beach yet. this summer sucks. let me show you the path to getting over it...

step 1: fall prey to an impulse buy. damage: black shoulder bag slash purse from girbaud. (don't mind the baby wipes. was a little too excited to use the bag)

step 2: treat yourself to a new lip & cheek tint (that you probably won't use for your cheeks since you have absolutely zero knowledge and talent on that), particularly on a pretty pretty shade of pink that is nowhere near glossy.

step 3: accept the fact that your mom will never get to use the uber cute bag you gave her for her birthday (or was it christmas, 2 years ago? i forget.), and volunteer to use it for her. ^_^

step 4: browser shop (kinda like window shop, but on a laptop. normal people probably have an appropriate term for this. it escapes me at the moment) and either make plans in your head to go visit and purchase, or drool.

somewhere along the way, i've managed to buy a pair of cute swimming shorts as well. i lack the talent for a good pic for that. maybe when i get to wear it...

Simple Joy #4 and Some Other Stuff

it's a particularly dull friday morning today, which is why i'm blogging about stuff i haven't had the chance to blog about, instead of slaving over projects, presentations, and whatnot. kinda expect this entry would be a bit of a soup of unrelated stuff.

let me start with a not-so-recent discovery of pan de manila's chocolate con leche. another one of my simple joys.

it's far from tablea, farther from xocolat, but hey, it works for me. it gets me through my coffee ban days and the hot chocolate smell helps me survive the everyday stress. it has a rich flavor without being exceedingly sweet; simply perfect with a warm pandesal and kesong puti.

moving on.

after two weeks here at my new office space, i'm bored out of my wits half the time. the other half, i'm walking back and forth to the area where i used to be. my new, ummm, cubicle is simply so far away from civilization everything else. it's not all that bad though. i get some privacy, and i'm farther away from my (biting my tongue here to refrain from inserting an insulting adjective and/or expletive) boss. unfortunately, the distance does not deter him from coming to me for every little thing. here's a sample email i got:

every. little. darn. thing.

next.

it's summer and i've been looking forward to a road trip ending at a beach. lots of sun, sand, and water! first up: outing with tan and friends. (insert game show buzzer tone for incorrect answers here) timing was off and it simply is not practical nor enjoyable to travel to baler with my red flag up. next: office outing. this is supposedly scheduled tomorrow. haven't had any announcements on the final details yet. might not push through. crap. there goes my summer.

Moving

office changes. got transferred to a new desk. i have yet to decide if it's good or bad.

i know, i know. i have too much stuff.

Happy Cotton

for the joy, the laughter, the pain, the struggles, for taking care of me, for being ever so thoughtful, for everything.. especially for the love --i thank you and i thank God.

maybe im not as tomboy as i think. thank you, luv for the pink water bottle (apparently not for hot liquids; starbucks is weird) and the kilig moments. I love you.

Another Goodbye?

i hate saying goodbyes. whoever said that it's "not goodbye, but only a 'see you later'" clearly don't know what he's talking about. goodbyes suck. sure, you can make arrangements and see people, but it. is. not. the. same.

gonna miss u skippy.. thank you for this..

Curse of the Other Gender

poor fifi, she's having her period, and i think she's having dysmenorrhea, too.

Crappy Dinner

curse you, biggest loser!

i seriously don't remember what possesed me to join the bigget loser thing at the office. less than a month from the big weigh in day, and i've gained two pounds from my original weight. crap.

is diet cramming same at crash dieting? let me know.

dinner:

Pink Salmon

with gluttony being my topmost sin, i'm a bit baffled at why i haven't blogged much about food.

anyway, i've been addicted to salmon lately and have tried making salmon pasta (white sauce) and oven baked salmon. the first one i made for valentine's lunch and the latter i made for my birthday lunch. ^_^ here's my lunch today:

i think 3/5 for the pasta, 4/5 for the oven baked and the latest pan fried salmon.

Birthday Week

this year, i'm thankful for friends, family, my dgroup sisters, and of course, tan. the Lord has blessed me so much and i could not ask for more.

my birthday week started with a church message on giving. at the time, i did not grasp the implication yet. it is only now that i realize just how much this affects me especially this week. ^_^ it was my birthday and i did receive my share of gifts, but it felt great sharing my blessings through my birthday treats as well. this blessed sunday was then followed by a pampered monday, massage after work. on tuesday, treated the BLO (boys lunch out --not sure if the name still applies since i've been a part of it the past weeks) team to our favorite charlie's black angus with chili fries and clam chowder! full and satisfied, it was worth the stress brought on by work. wednesday, with the usual suspects (--lunch buddies) doing the ash wednesday thing and abstaining from real good food, i indulged with my favorite yellow cab hot wings!! since they've been out of wings for the past month and have been serving hot legs as replacement, which doesn't satisfy the craving as much, the timing was impeccable. thursday rolls on by and i treat my nss team, signaling team, and friends to shakey's for lunch. two monster deals and a tuna salad after, everybody's happy and content. real thankful for officemates who, over the years, are more friends than colleagues.

on friday, the day my birthday falls on, i made my first baked salmon for brunch! happy with how it turned out.. you know how it is, happy tummy = happy jacq. ^_^


as with tradition and tan's yearly sacrifice of his pride and man-card, he brought me flowers. too bad they ran out of tulips, but hey, i'm nowhere close to complaining. the roses were pretty. ^_^


after brunch, we headed to moa without definite plans yet as to what we'd be busying our selves with. the only plan was to ride the supposed largest ferris wheel (in the country?) and enjoy the view, but God, in His perfect timing and plan led us to the ice skating rink instead. my second time on ice and it felt wonderful!


after that, we watched the sun set. tan took pictures. then we had dinner at charlie's. perfect black angus! as sir rp branded it, "the boracay of all burgers"! i regret not being able to take a pic of tan's first bite. it was his first time, and after weeks of trying to convince him to have lunch or dinner there, this was the moment.. his expression was incredulous! haha, he never thought any burger would taste as good. it was priceless. :D

lastly, i want to thank dan for giving me a dozen roses,


signaling team for the running/biking shirt,


and ma'am connie for the kikay kit and lippies!

Advance Happy Birthday

dear God, thank You so very very much for giving me my perfect match. You have blessed me with a sweet, thoughtful, and loving boyfriend, and i could not ask for more.

Simple Joy #3

been meaning to post this.

here's my simple joy #3. a bottle or two of sparkling grape juice. have grown accustomed to having this during special occasions. this is due to the fact that i don't drink anything with alcohol, this serves as a nice bubbly replacement.

with valentine's day just around the corner, i'm thinking of having a bottle of the white grape ones with pasta or steak. ^_^

2012

so i've been out of blog circulation for a while and got tons of stuff to post about.
(darn "o" key is somewhat stuck >.<)

first off, i want to thank God for a wonderful 2011. for all the blessings He has given me, for all the lessons learned, for the new friends, new experiences, for everything.

next, i just want to share that i have "applied" for a singles d-group and i'm happy to report that things are going well. a bit embarrassing on my first day with them, but so blessed God gave me sisters who do not judge. i have had a minor breakdown recently and they were there for me. now, i miss them when i don't get to attend d-group on sundays.

i started running again. just once a week while i'm still a wimp. will try and increase frequency and intensity in a month or so.

look what i got.. belated christmas gifts from my ever loving bf:



sugar daddy much? hehe, i love you, tan!

last but not least, sold pipay already T_T to buy a new phone. meet mika:


i know i'm more than a little late, but still, happy happy 2012 everyone!!!